OOC

When I was in college a friend of mine used the phrase “OOC” all the time (out of control for anyone needing interpretation as I usually do). This was before texting and social media, mind you. Of course, the context usually referred to someone’s behavior as in, “You’re OOC!” I know it sounds ridiculous, really, but I’ve been thinking about this phrase a lot these last few weeks. Do you ever feel like life is OOC? I certainly do.

I’m in the process of a renovation at my house. It isn’t a huge project, but it has meant moving things around and clearing out closets which has meant chaos in rooms that were once relatively orderly. It has also meant staying away while stuff is being done, which is a challenge for someone who works from home. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for the progress and the chance to do the reno in the first place, but it has definitely meant that things feel out. of. control.

It’s interesting how we tend to believe that we can control so many things. Most of us can convince ourselves we have some control in our lives – until we don’t… Someone dies. You lose your job. Your roof leaks. You get rear-ended. Something or some things happen that are completely out of your control. Then what?

The problem is, when situations feel out of my control, I often resort to old habits and poor coping mechanisms (like binge eating Cheetos and ice cream). I have to remind myself that control is just an illusion to begin with. If I can remember this, then it’s less jarring in situations like the one in which I currently find myself. Why do I feel like I need so much control anyway? Yes, I am a little bit of a control freak. I like things orderly and in their place. I like to know what’s coming so I can attempt to prepare for it. I like to load my dishwasher a particular way. I appreciate controlled environments. Most of the time. Ok, so I appreciate controlled environments when I’m the one controlling them.

So, my challenge to myself during these days (and always really) is to trust the process. There is some amount of order in the happenings around me even if I can’t always see it. And, I’m not doing myself any favors by giving in to the stress of what feels out of control. The opposite, in fact, is true – I am doing harm to myself by allowing negative habits and coping practices to creep in. While that pint of Ben & Jerry’s might taste good going down, it won’t feel so good next time I have to step on the scale at the doctor’s office.

It definitely seems easier said than done – trusting the process – particularly when one’s world feels completely out of control. But, I do believe it’s better than the alternative (having to purchase an entirely new wardrobe all thanks to Ben and Jerry). So, I set my intention each day: Trust the Process. And, I remind myself throughout that it’s going to be ok, that I don’t have to control everything, that I CAN’T control everything, that this too shall pass. And one day I’ll have a beautiful new bathroom and order will be restored to my little sanctuary and the ice cream scoop will be returned to its drawer and life will be ok again. Until it isn’t…

Trust the process – even when, no, especially when – things feel completely OOC.