DVR’d life

I admit, I’m a bit of a TV junkie. I can’t say I’m proud of this fact, but I definitely have some shows that it absolutely pains me to miss. Because of this slight obsession, I broke down and got a DVR. Some of my favorites this season have an element of suspense to them and often include a little murder and intrigue. So, if it’s a show I’m concerned will cause me to lose sleep I’ll wait and watch the recording another time. The thing is, with a DVR I can fast forward through the scary parts (and the commercials, but I really like being able skip over the super intense moments).

Sometimes I think it would be nice if life worked like that. We could fast forward through the scary or intense moments. Or, if we at least had the luxury of skipping to the end just to be sure everything turns out ok, then we could rewind and see how the story unfolds.

Of course it doesn’t work that way. Part of experiencing life fully is living through the ups and downs, the intense moments as well as the more benign ones. Skipping over the scary moments, while appealing on the surface, would mean missing out on a full range of experience. And, how would we really know what safety feels like if we’ve never felt fear? Or joy, if we’ve never known pain?

In those moments when I’m peering at life through my fingers wondering when it’s safe to look on fully, I often want desperately to know how my story will end (or at least how a particular “scene” will play out). I want to hit the “pause” button and take a moment to collect myself and gear up for what’s ahead.

I’ve been in a few of these moments recently – peeking with one eye open at my unpredictable journey, hoping beyond hope that all will be well. The reality is, however, that I don’t know. I can’t know for sure what lies ahead. I don’t have a pause or fast-forward (or rewind, for that matter). Life is what it is as it happens. And, what I’m discovering is that it’s often in these very moments that I learn the most – about myself and about life in general.

So, while a DVR’d life might sound appealing when we’re on the edge of our seats wondering what will happen next and what will become of our lives, we must remember that life happens in the living. We can’t fully experience the abundance that life has to offer if we’re constantly wanting to rewind and do-over or fast-forward and skip over.

And, so I will engage in my life in the moment. And, I will try to pay special attention during those moments when I’m tempted to cover my eyes or reach for the remote. 😉